What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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