y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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