i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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