Are we in a gay sports bar?
You smell like stripper and shame
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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