But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize