so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
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she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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