If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize