i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize