hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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