Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize