The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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