FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
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getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
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you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Pants are for mortals
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
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