she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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