Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize