Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize