The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
His nipple licking is glorious
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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