Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
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Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
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I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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