Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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