some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize