i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize