so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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