Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
