So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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