On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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