I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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