Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
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I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
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If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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