a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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