i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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