The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
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Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
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I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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