question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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