Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
the day after is always just damage control
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize