OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
someone threw a dead crab at me
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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