so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
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I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
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You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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