He had one of those small greek statue penises
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
try to milk me bitch
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