he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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