Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you win again, gameday.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize