Plan B is the new Plan A
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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