Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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