I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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