Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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