She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize