i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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