and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize