the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
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You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
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Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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