you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Oh god it's open bar.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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