you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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