I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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