margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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