And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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