it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize